This Christmas, like the last 3, is a different kind of Christmas for our family… We endured the first Christmas without Truman, then met the second Christmas full force without the numbness of the first (which almost made it worse). Then last year was the year we celebrated as many Holidays without him as we did with him. And now this year we begin more Christmas mornings without him as we did with him.
I’m not going to lie – it’s hard. And different. Never the same pain, just a new pain. Not really more or less – just different. But the one thing that is the same. The only thing that hasn’t change is our Savior. And the Tru gift we receive every single day – the Grace that came in a manger to a virgin who said yes *knowing* the pain & suffering she would not only endure, but also knowing she would one day have to watch that precious Gift undeservingly suffer for all of us.
As I sit here missing & wondering through the “what ifs” – I try to take the pain & sadness & give thanks for the Gift this is all about. Thank you JESUS. Thank you for being the Biggest & Best gift I truly don’t deserve but am most grateful for. Thank you for making all things new. Thank you for the assurance that although it seems like I am spending more days without Truman – I am really just getting closer to spending ETERNITY with him. Each passing day is a day I am closer to him. Each hard holiday is one less holiday I have to spend without him.
For all of you experiencing your own “different” Christmas – just remember it’s really not about the gifts, food, people, even family, & certainly not about “us” (self) – it’s about THE GIFT – JESUS! And sweet friends, He draws near to the broken hearted. So if you are hurting, missing some one, or going through a difficult season – Jesus is the best gift you can have right now. As you look at the Christmas tree, really look to where it is point (straight to HIM) & not on your circumstances. Praying His Light shines on you & you find comfort in knowing He is all you need.